"Well, I'm back."
The last words of J.R.R. Tolkien's Return of the King reflect a bit of where I'm at right now. Sam just returned to his home at Bag End after watching Frodo, Gandalf, Bilbo, and others board a ship bound for the Undying Lands. I've always enjoyed reading over the last part of that epic story because it has an unfinished feel to it: the life-threatening, adrenaline-pumping adventure of the Fellowship has ended, but the journey still continues for Samwise Gamgee.
Now, I haven't just returned from an epic adventure that resulted in the salvation of the world, but my time at home was high-pitched, fast-paced, full of life, joyful reunions, and deep conversations.
Seeing my mom and dad from the top of a O'Hare escalator thrilled my heart and reassured me that I had finally returned to a place of love, warmth, and security.
Opening the door of my house to the faces of old friends filled me with old memories and new thoughts of true, God-given fellowship.
Having a deep conversation with my 89-year-old grandma who told me she has a greater hunger for God than she has ever had floored my "I've already arrived" pride and ushered me into a self-defeating, joyful place of humility.
Talking with my dad about all my life struggles over a Starbucks mocha and listening to his humble-yet-assured responses gave me a sense of security and confidence in God which still tells me, "Blessed is he who trusts in the Lord."
And now, I'm back. Here in Parral. Without being too dramatic, this city has showed me more of my weakness and insecurity than college did. It's a place where I'm tested and often found wanting, because of my blasted sense of self-reliance. But, it's a place that God uses to lift a hidden veil in my soul, touching an exposed nerve and revealing my obvious need for Him.
I still feel slightly melancholic about leaving goodness of home life and embracing the fact that it will be several more months before I'm able to see my family and friends again. However, a conversation with a good friend and his wife over break has helped me see this place in a different light.
He encouraged me to view Parral as my home, even though it is far from my idea of home. Christ is my home, he told me, and wherever he places me, there is my home, for I am there with him. Love those around you like family and old friends, he said, for that is the example he left us: he came to our home, a far cry from his heavenly dwelling, and loved us as family and friends.
And this is our calling. Let us live it obediently and confidently in the grace He has provided.
3 comments:
You are blessed Billy to have such a GREAT family and tons of friends that love you and love the Lord. I hope when I am old I can be like your grandma...with a greater hunger for God and more in love with my savior than I ever was before. Wish I could meet her, she sounds awesome! ;0) May the Lord continue to work in your life and show you where you are weak so that He may be glorified in it.
Billy! Bummer that we didn't get to see each other while you were here. But it sounds like you had a great time at home and are learning and growing a lot! Blessings, friend.
Hey Billy! It has been a long time! I did not know you were in Mexico! Teaching!!! I am so proud of you!
I enjoyed reading your blog today! This has been such a crazy time in our life. My great-grandpa passed away on Dec 30th and it has been traumatic to say the least. I really miss him a lot. However, he sounds similar to that of your grandma in spirit and for that I am so glad. I must have need to write all of that out because I was not planning to pour that out to you.
Anyways, I am proud of you little brother. Write me and tell me how you are doing? ok. How you are really doing. Love you.
~Alyssa Ingle
p.s. Mrs. Ingle is my mother-in-law!
p.s.s. Ryan will be pleased to know you are working with the mexican population, but are you learning to speak it?
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